A Faded Memory
by Kyizi
Summary: set after the Season 2 finale. *Winner of Best Episode Filler in the Farscape Fanfic Awards* ;o)


A Faded Memory 

[Kyizi][1]

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Disclaimer: they're not mine, only the story

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Spoilers: Seasons 1 and 2

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Notes: I jus watched the last ep in the 2nd series and I basically couldn't sleep till I'd written this. I don't care how unrealistic it is or how unlikely it is to happen. Aeryn is my favorite character and the BBC ruined my Xmas by showing it now!!!!!!! This is the one time the actually DID show a sci fi ep and I'm wishing they hadn't! I don't cry easily and I was crying buckets so all I can say is that the people at Farscape better rectify the situation or I will not be happy!!!!!!!!!!!! They were supposed to have the "I love you" conversation the live happily ever after…or at least STAY ALIVE AND BE TOGETHER!!!!!! So here's a continued and alternate ending to the last ep in the 2nd series. 

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Feedback at [Kyizi@lineone.net][2]

~~~~~~~

A body lay on the ground next to the table that held him. There was a dull light surrounding the room and his ragged breath was all the noise to be heard. John's mind was on overdrive…he couldn't believe that she was dead…yeah Scorpy was alive, hell HE was alive…but she was gone. And it was his fault…he killed her.

*Focus John!* he thought to himself, *You've saved her before…you can do it again…but she's already gone…NO there has to be something you can do, there's always a plan…*

~~~~~~~

"Chiana?" D'Argo called as he reached her quarters. He entered to find her sitting alone on her bed staring into space, "What are you thinking about?"

Chiana turned to face him, tears rolling down her cheek, "Nothing," She lied with a slight smile, "I dunno…I was just thinking about how much my life has changed over the last cycle. Things are so different now, everything's changing so suddenly…Jothee's here, Moya's sick, Rygel's gone, John's crazy, and…and Aeryn's dead…I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore." Chiana started to cry harder and D'Argo pulled her into his embrace. She felt sick inside and all she could think about was that, an arn earlier, she had almost kissed his son.

*Things are definitely going to hezmana*

~~~~~~~~

John pulled again on the restraints, but to no avail. He was held fast and there was nothing he could do. He grunted in frustration .

"Frell! Will someone get me outta here!" he yelled, but all that came out was "fnew! Wnesmnomnewtneoudahee!" He grunted again and lay still, a single tear running down his cheek, *I'm sorry I let you down, baby*

A weak moan filled the room and John tried to turn his head. There was a slight movement from the floor and he heard distinct sounds. He felt a hand grip his arm as the alien rose.

*What the frell? I thought he was dead!*

The alien shook it's head and looked down at him, slowly it moved away as John yelled after it, only to return a moment later, mask in place.

"Scorpius obviously did not know that we regenerate and can be brought back to life," the alien informed him in a high pitched squeak, "Our bodies eject a fluid into our respiratory systems." It explained.

*Just like an injection,* John laughed, then stopped as his brain began to work, "A serum…the flax…Aeryn could be revived!*

He began trying to speak but all that came out was a mumble of indistinct noises. John began to get frustrated and the alien placed a hand on his chest to calm him down.

"Allow me to realign your brain, and then you may tell me what you wish."

~~~~~~~~

Zhaan and D'Argo arrived at the medical facility operating room to hear John talking excitedly.

"…so you see we can revive her!"

Zhaan walked towards John, who was pacing around the room, "John, how are you?"

He ran right up to her and grabbed her into a hug, "Zhaan I know how to save her! But we have to do it now or it'll be too late! I can't believe we didn't think of it before!"

"John, what are you talking about?"

"Aeryn!"   
Zhaan's smile faded. She knew that John would have trouble facing her death, but she had hoped that he wouldn't try something like this, "John…I know it is difficult, but Aeryn is gone. She…"

"NO! the serum."

"What?"

John was gettting frustrated, *We're running out of time…why can't they see that?!* he began to run to the transport pod as he spoke, knowing that they would all follow.

"When we were trapped in the flax," he began to increase his pace, "Aeryn had to use that serum that brings you back from the dead…"

"John that is simply a counter fluid for the injection that kills."

"NO IT'S GOING TO WORK!"

~~~~~~~~

Rygel, sighed sadly as he boarded the transport. He took one look into the sky at the small shape he knew to be Moya and for the first time in his life, he felt like he would actually miss something that couldn't be priced, bought or sold.

"Are you ready Dominar?" the alien asked

"Yes…just a moment." He sighed and looked at the sky one last time, "Good luck to you all…you'll need it." Sighing once more, he entered the ship and prepared to start the next part of his life.

~~~~~~~

They entered the large room only minutes after John had found the injection. He began to pace around, unable to find Aeryn's body.

"WHERE IS SHE?!"

"She was right here…"

"What do you mean WAS." John turned to see Zhaan, D'Argo and the alien staring at an open box.

~~~~~~~~

"Ah, Officer sun, glad to see you're finally awake."

Aeryn painfully opened her eyes to a bright light.

*What happened…shouldn't I be dead?* She groaned as she tried to sit up. Slowly her eyes adjusted to the light and she turned to where she guessed the voice to have come from. She gasped.

"Scorpius!"

"Of course…you didn't think I'd leave you for Crichton to 'save' did you?"

"What do you mean?" Aeryn grimaced and tried to sit up.

"Well, he was bound to think of some way to revive you, wasn't he? He's a very resourceful person."

"How did you revive me?…Why did you revive me?"

"How? Well it's not really that difficult, in my line of work, you learn useful things…Why? Well, at first I was just planning on turning you into the peace keepers to get at Crichton…" Aeryn backed herself further along the bed as Scorpius approached her, "…but of course when I activated the implant from Crichton's brain, the first thing I saw was you. I was intrigued, naturally." Aeryn pressed herself harder into the wall as she realized that there was nowhere to go. Scorpius was now only about two inches form her face and she couldn't help but feel her heart tighten with fear.

"I especially loved the part where you declare your love for me…" He grinned as her face contorted in rage and he pulled away and turned to the door, "Goodbye my love, I'm afraid I have some business to attend to…but I will return."

Aeryn suddenly felt her heart stop as she watched Scorpius leave…*Wait a minute, if he has the implant then John…no he could have survived…Oh God no…* Aeryn closed her eyes and felt tears begin to trickle down her cheek. *Wait Scorpius said that he wanted hurt John by handing me over, so he must be alive…oh please be alive John…I love you*

~~~~~~~

"Oh God Aeryn, please be alive…I love you." John whispered into his hands. *Why would Scorpy take her…it doesn't make any sense…unless…* Slowly he began to feel fuzzy memories surface…

*"I would be lost without you"*

*"Then you'll never be lost

*"No matter what happens, you have worked your way into my heart"*

*"You've shown me that I have one"*

*"I love you"*

*"I love you, too"*

*"You are so my girl"*

John's eyes shot open, "Oh God no." 

~~~~~~~

Chiana timidly entered the room, watching as Jothee stared at the holo-image of his mother holding him as a child. She wanted to turn and run from the room but she made herself stay put.

*Frell, what are you doing Chiana?! Leave before things get even messier* she paused, shook her head and turned to leave.

"I'm leaving."

She turned at the sound of Jothee's voice, "What?"

Jothee sighed then turned to face her, "I can't live the quiet life that my father wants for us. I'm not ready to settle down, I want to live first. I've spent my whole life running, or in slavery…but I'm not ready to give up my life just so that I can be safe."

"But…D'Argo. You'll…you'll break his heart…"

"I know but…"  
"No you don't know! You don't know how much he's given up to find you, how much his life has been driven into finding you, how much he's punished himself about loosing you! So don't say that you know, because you don't know anything!"

Jothee stood to face the enraged Chiana, with a fury of his own, "And you don't know what it's been like for me! Do you have any idea what it's like to live knowing that you're be an outcast to both your parents families? Do you know what it's like to be on the run your whole life? Do you know what it's like to live your whole life thinking that your parents didn't love you?!"

"YES!!!"

Jothee paused, shocked and looked at Chiana as tears began to stream down her face. *So beautiful*. He reached out his hand to wipe away her tears and for a moment she leaned into it, but suddenly pulled away.

"No," she whispered, "I can't do this, and you shouldn't want to either."

Jothee closed his eyes, "I know…I'm sorry."  
"It…It's OK." She smiled sadly at him and he returned the gesture. She began to walk away, before turning to stare at him for a moment, "And Jothee…please think about it before you do anything…You said that you spent your whole life thinking that your parents didn't love you. Well, now you know differently…do you really wanna turn your back on it?"

~~~~~~~~~~

Zhaan turned to look at John as his face crumpled and she heard him utter a prayer.

"John? What's wrong?"

"I know why he has her…I know why Scorpius has Aeryn."

"Why?"

John's saddened face suddenly erupted in anger, "Cuz Scorpy has a crush on my woman! All that time in my head must have affected little implant Scorpy, as much as it did me. So he gets the implant back, along with an echo of everything I feel and think…"

"…including your love for Aeryn." Zhaan concluded with a sigh.

"Bingo."

"By the Goddess."

~~~~~~~

Aeryn shivered, she couldn't seem to get warm and she couldn't sleep. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw water, she felt her life slipping away from her over an over again. And when she could rid her thoughts of that, all she saw was John…but she couldn't really see him. He was fading from her mind and that scared her…it scared her because that was all she had left…a faded memory.

~~~~~~~

Crais sat still, just as he had for the last arn. Talyn, also was quiet. He could sense that Crais was feeling the loss about as much as he was…and that hurt him too.

Suddenly, he detected a transmission and alerted Crais. They both shook themselves mentally, before Talyn turned on the image.

"Crichton…you are well I see."

"Yeah…thanks for the concern Crais, but this is about Aeryn."

"What about her?" Crais tried to sound neutral and he hoped that the emotion he felt inside wasn't projected in his voice.

"Scorpy has her…and I think she might be alive."

"What?" 

Talyn too, asked a question, but Crais silenced him…he needed to find out more.

"I think Scorpius might have revived her…at any rate he's got her body…and I need you help to get her back…Moya still isn't 100 percent and…"  
"We will help you Crichton. Be here as soon as possible."

The transmission ended and John had to shake himself. "Well that was easy."

~~~~~~

Aeryn grimly awaited Scorpius' arrival as she heard footsteps in the corridor. A few moments passed and just as she began to sigh in relief, the door opened. Scorpius entered and smiled at her. She felt sick and had to force herself not to look away.

"Ah my dear, I thought you might be asleep…or maybe I just hoped." He waited for her to speak but her Jaw remained fixed, "Silence really isn't your style Officer Sun."

"I have nothing to say that isn't a waste of my time."

Scorpius grinned, "Perhaps for now…" he leered at her, "but you never know what might make you require your vocal chords later."

~~~~~~

"That's your plan?"

John looked Crais in the eye, "Yeah. You got a problem with that?"

"Actually yes…"

"Look pal," John squared himself up, "I don't know why you agreed to help me, and don't get me wrong, I'm grateful but if you so much as **_try_** to screw this thing up and I _will_ kill you."

Crais was silent and simply stared at him for a few minutes before speaking, "OK we will do this your way, Crichton…but rest assured, I want Officer Sun out of there alive just as much as you do."

"Good, glad to hear it." John took another step forward till they were practically nose to nose, "But lets just get one thing straight Crais, Aeryn is **_my_** girl. Got it?"

Crais smiled and went back to work. 

~~~~~~

All wrong…everything is wrong. They were supposed to be alive but now they were gone. He need to help them…to silence the voices…to stop the screaming. His head was filled with detached thoughts, memories and feelings that weren't his.

*I have to help them. They must be allowed to reassemble as I have…I need to help them…too bad Zhaan must die. I was really beginning to like her*

~~~~~~~

Aeryn tugged at the panel on the wall although she knew it was futile. There was no way that she was getting out, but she had to try…she had to be doing something or she'd go crazy.

There was a hiss behind her and she swung round to see Scorpius enter.

"That won't work, my dear."

"And neither will your mind games, Scorpius." She sat back onto the bed.

Scorpius smiled, "You know he only loves you because he has no one else, don't you?"

Aeryn smiled, "I'll tell you what I do know…I know that you are wasting your time…Crichton will come for me and when he does, you will die."

Scorpius laughed, "That I very much doubt, Officer Sun."

"We will see."

"Ah my dear," Scorpius drawled as he leaned in closer, "You forget that I was in his head…I know exactly how Crichton thinks. I know exactly _what_ Crichton thinks…" He grinned one last time and left her alone once more.

Aeryn closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, *Don't listen to him…he's just playing games with you then leaving you alone to torture yourself…he was just trying to anger you…John told you he loved you long before this…even if it wasn't with words…even if it wasn't with words…*

~~~~~~~~

"This will not work Crichton."

"Will you just shut up and do what I tell you?!" John was getting annoyed as Crais' constant criticism. They were approaching the marauder and John was getting increasingly agitated…and Crais' constant put downs were beginning to annoy and worry him.

~~~~~~~

"Sir, a ship is approaching, just as you said it would."

"Of course." Scorpius grinned, "Right on time Crichton."  
"It is the Leviathon offspring."

"WHAT?" Scorpius leapt to his feet.

"They are sending a transmission."   
Scorpius growled and nodded at the young lieutenant. Within microts, the screen was filled with a grim face.

"Commander Crais, how lovely to see you." Scorpius walked closer to the screen, "What can I do for you?"

"You can hand over Officer Sun."

Scorpius grinned, "I'm afraid that will not be possible. You see, Officer Sun met an unfortunate demise at a medical facility of all places, I am simply returning her body to Peacekeeper command."

Crais smiled, "I see. I shall leave you to it then."

The transmission ended and Scorpius frowned, *That was too easy…and why does Crais want Officer Sun*

Suddenly alarms began to sound and a red light flashed throughout the marauder.   
"WHAT'S HAPPENING?!"

"The Leviathon is firing on is!"

"Then fire back!"

~~~~~~~~

D'Argo entered the terrace to see Jothee staring at the stars.

"It's really beautiful." Jothee said without turning.

"Yes it is." D'Argo moved beside him.

"You know, when I was younger, I used to look up at the stars and pray that somewhere there would be a place I'd feel at home…somewhere that I'd be loved for what I was…for who I was."  
"Well you're here now…and soon we'll have a home…"

Jothee turned to look at D'Argo, "But you still don't know who I am."

"You are my son, and for that I love you." D'Argo pulled Jothee into a hug, then smiled at him before leaving him to look at the stars once more.

"But, you still don't know who I am…"

~~~~~~~~

Aeryn felt the ship lurch again, but this time she was prepared, and braced herself.

"Crichton I hope you have a plan." She smiled in spite of the situation, knowing that often she had been wishing the exact opposite. Suddenly the door opened and Scorpius walked in. He grabbed her roughly by the hair.

"Sorry my dear, but there's no time. It seems that your friend Crais and his pet ship are after you…and I don't intend for him to succeed."

"If they fail this time, they _will_ try again."

"Crais does not worry me and Crichton is incompetent. You _are_ mine."  
"Oh really…I don't know about that Scorpy."

Scorpius turned to see John Crichton standing in the doorway aiming a gun at his head.

"Ah Commander Crichton," Scorpius tried to hide his surprise, "How nice of you to join us."

"Oh I thought so to. I mean I guess my invite to the tea party got lost in a wormhole."

"You won't shoot me Crichton."

"Oh really?!" John smiled, "Well you seem to be forgettin' somethin' Scorpy." He tapped his head, "I don't have you screwin' up my head anymore, so you know what? I can shoot you whenever the hell I want."

"Then frelling shoot him!" Aeryn cried

"You know, if they killed anyone, it shoulda been you, Scorpy…you're getting old real fast…and I ain't talkin' about your age." John pulled the trigger and watched as Scorpius' body crumpled to the floor in a heap.

For a moment, no one moved, then John let out a breath, "Damn that felt good." He looked at Aeryn, who had picked herself up from the floor and moved away from Scorpius. 

*She's alive* He watched as Aeryn stared at Scorpius, shaking slightly. They stood in silence, oblivious to the noises around them.

"Hey babe." 

She turned to look at him with tears in her eyes, "Hey."

Suddenly there was a blast from the corridor and his Comm jumped to life, "Crichton will you hurry the frell up!"

"Crais is helping you?"

"Yeah he's helping me...but I don't know why."  
"I do."

"Well darlin', you're gonna have to tell me later, cuz right now we gotta split."

"Split?" Aeryn asked curiously as he dragged her from the room.

~~~~~~

There was a subdued silence as Aeryn John and Crais entered the room and everyone simply stared at her. John watched as Aeryn shifted uncomfortably under their gazes.

"Aeryn!" Suddenly Chiana threw herself into a surprised Aeryn's arms, "I can't believe you're alright!". 

"It is good to see you Aeryn." D'Argo and the rest of the crew embraced her on by one, and Aeryn was glad to be home again.

~~~~~~~

"Thank you again for the offer Crais, and Talyn I am honored, but I have to stay." Aeryn walked across Talyn's command to where Crais was standing.

He sighed and touched her face, "For him?" 

Aeryn smiled, "For me."

~~~~~~

She walked onto the terrace to see John curled up watching the stars.

"Hey." She said sitting beside him.

He smiled, "Hey"

"Thank you."

He turned to her confused, "What for? Hurting you? Driving you away? …Killing you?"

"Crichton that was not your fault. So don't you DARE try to place the blame on yourself!" She stood and began to pace around angrily, "I **_died_** John…" Her lip trembled and a tear slipped down her cheek, "…and do you want to know what my last thoughts were?" She watched as he stood and approached her, "They were of you…All I could think about was how much I regretted pushing you away. If I had just kept you close…allowed you to be there for me, then we could have avoided so much…"

"Aeryn don't." John wiped away her tears and stared into her eyes.  
"Then don't you try to blame yourself for what Scorpius did to you…please…I need you to help me through this."

"I'll be here…and I promise that I'll try to forgive myself, but it won't be easy."

"I'll be here."

They smiled at each other and leaned in allowing their foreheads to meet. Aeryn closed her eyes and sighed, "Thank you for coming after me."

"Always." He replied stroking the side of her face, "Aeryn…I have to say this…"

"It's OK…"

"No, let me finish…please. I need to say this so that you know that it's really me saying it…"

"I knew…"  
"I love you."  
"I know." She paused and touched his face, staring into his eyes. "I love you, too."

Slowly they moved closer and after a few hesitant moments, their lips met in a sweet and passionate kiss and the faded memory was once again renewed.

~~~~~~~~

Stark creeped past the young Luxan's quarters, taking only a moment to ponder why he was preparing to leave. He walked slowly to Zhaan's quarters and paused momentarily at the door. He watched as she sat naked on her bed, lost in her meditation with prayers to her Goddess.

He felt a pang of regret but simply sighed and entered the room. He clasped his hands on Zhaan's face and watched as her eyes opened in horror.

Closing his mind to all outside noise, he entered the place beyond, ignoring her screams he invaded her mind.

~~~~~~~~

THE END

Well what'dya think? I know it ain't a masterpiece but it will keep me sane and living quite happily in my dillusions till the new series starts. All I can say is that I hope they bring Aeryn back otherwise the show just wont be the same…don't know if I'll b able 2 watch it anyway! I hope Rockne S O'Bannon can sleep at night! He ruined my Xmas!!!! 

   [1]: mailto:kyizi@lineone.net
   [2]: mailto:Kyizi@lineone.net



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